Why I Don't Care If Izzie Stevens Dies

After the realization that Izzie is sick and the news that Katherine Heigl is leaving Grey's Anatomy, I felt it was necessary to compile this list.

Reason #1

"You want to see it? You really want to see it? Fine! Let's look at that tattoo up close and personal, shall we? What are these? Oh, my God! Breasts! How does anybody practice medicine hauling these things around?

Before I comment, let me show you a screen capture of this scene (1x04)

So by "hauling these around" did you mean grandma boobs, Izzie? Because honestly, I'm not impressed. Frankly, I'm offended by the fact that you not only spoke of your breasts, but you showed them to me while they dangled in those sacks you call a bra.

You may be thinking, "Hey Ash, aren't you being a little harsh?"

No, I just googled grandma bra:

Familiar?

Reason #2

Season one episode seven. Remember how Izzie freaked out about Meredith sleeping with Derek? Annoying much? She's just jealous the best she can get is a washed up athlete, Alex, Denny, George, and then ghost Denny (somehow).

I'd be annoyed if I had to live with that too, Meredith. You don't need to oil any bedsprings. Your wild and crazy sex-capades are welcomed with open arms.

Reason #3

"It was me. I cut his LVAD wire."

Wait, how is she still a doctor? I guess she totally "paid" for her mistake by laying on the floor/standing in front of the hospital for forever and a day. (insert sarcasm).

Reason #4

Okay, Okay, Okay. I know she used the huge sum of money she received because of Denny's death. But does anybody recall how she put it on the fridge with a magnet for a while? Really? I'd deposit that shit right away. Don't be stupid. Like, "Oh hey, a kajillion dollars. Hang it on the fridge like a depressing report card".

Reason #5

Gizzie. WHAT ON EARTH? Really? Way to take my two least favorite characters and make me sit through the disgustingness that is George and Izzie. Way to be a total home wrecker, Izzie. Not that Callie and George weren't gross enough. Gizzie definitely tops them.

*Listen for gross slurpy kiss sound*

Reason #6

Remember season four episode twelve? The competition? Hey, remember how Izzie convinced that guy he was going to die for the sake of the competition? Oh yeah and remember how his hospital bill was through the roof due to her unnecessary and expensive testing?

"Trust me, I'm a doctor.....p.s. that will be a kajillion dollars. You can make it out to Seattle Grace Hospital. Oh by memo, you should write 'Izzie Stevens shouldn't be allowed to practice medicine'. Hah! Isn't competition fun?!"

Reason #7

Izzie not only sees dead people, she has strange and very audible sex with them. Either she's legit a ghost whisperer or the best masturbator in the world. Most uncomfortable pairing besides Gizzie? Deadzie. That's a shipper name for Dead Denny/Izzie. I don't know if this quite counts as necrophilia, but I will qualify it as such anyways. Yes, the whole thing is most likely some sort of schizophrenia due to (hopefully) a brain tumor. I've got my money on brain tumor. I really hope I cash in. Anyways, this whole thing with Denny is just disturbing. The only disappointing thing the writers didn't explore? What on earth does it look like from an onlookers perspective? I have very disturbing images in my head now. Thanks Deadzie.

I don't know if "awkwardly disturbing" covers it.

Reason #8

I am so sick of Katherine Heigl that it makes me want to jump through the screen and kill Izzie myself. I don't know if it's her piranha teeth or her crazy nose that does it visually for me. But I know for sure that her diva personality is my emotional drive to murder Izzie. Let me just list three reasons why she's not as good of an actress as she thinks she is:

1. The Ringer

2. Knocked Up

3. 27 Dresses

Yep, she's going places. *rolling of eyes*

I couldn't find a really good photo of her teeth, so I'll just use a pretty similar set of chompers:

So, I'm for sure staying tuned for the rest of season five (as if i wasn't already). I think I'll go all Wizard of Oz and dance while singing, "Ding dong! The witch is dead!"

So I'm an ass, big deal.

-Ashley